Please, God, tell me it's Friday.
Jul. 13th, 2007 04:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wojelahI had a very, very bad moment about 20 minutes ago in which my brain tried to tell me it was Thursday. Thank god for the computer's auto-date thingie.
Went running at lunchtime, and expected to be more tired than I actually was, given yesterday. (Not that I won't be happy to take tomorrow off, mind.) In fact, I managed to run 3.0 mi in 58 min, 30 sec, which puts me at just under 3.08 mph. I realize this is not tremendously exciting to anyone but me, but for me, that's progress!
The pattern for today:
1st 5 min: walk 2.8 mph 1 min, walk 3.0 mph 1 min, walk 3.1 mph 1 min, run 3.1 mph 2 min
2nd: walk 3.0 mph 2 min, run 3.0 1 min, walk 3.1 mph 1 min, run 3.1 mph 2 min
3rd: walk 3.0 mph 2 min, run 3.1 mph 3 min
4th-5th: walk 3.0 mph 2 min, walk 3.1 mph 1 min, run 3.1 mph 1 min, run 3.2 mph 1 min
5th-6th: walk 3.0 mph 2 min, walk 3.1 mph 30 sec, run 3.1 mph 1 min, run 3.2 mph 1 min 30 seec
6th-7th: walk 3.0 mph 2 min, walk 3.1 mph 30 sec, run 3.1 mph 30 sec, run 3.2 mph 2 min
8th-9th: walk 3.0 mph 2 min, run 3.2 mph 3 min
10th: walk 3.0 mph 2 min, walk 3.1 mph 1 min, run 3.1 mph 1 min, run 3.2 mph 1 min
11th: walk 3.0 mph 2 min, walk 3.1 mph 1 min, run 3.1 mph 2 min
remaining time: walk 3.0 mph 2 min, run 3.2 mph 1 min 30 sec
I don't want to trigger anyone with body issues, so please, if you think reading about body shape and changes in weight will ping issues you don't want touched, don't continue.
Some general observations:
1) Running has been a good choice so far, and it's part of what is making weight loss easier - because I'm not focusing on it as weight loss at all - in fact, if I think about eating in terms of how it helps running, I do fine. If I think about eating in terms of Weight Watchers and weight loss, I find myself walking a very fine line between doing well and the crazy, which I have no desire to repeat.
2) Life on the internet has exposed me to a community of women who are comfortable in their own skin, regardless of what size they are, and who like to look cute and don't think it's size-dependent. I think it's fantastic, and I -do- think you can look fabulous without regard to body size, because that should be about you, and your self-confidence, and your own sense of style. I'm never going to be a size 2: I come from a family of bakers and farmers and seriously, my hips are hard-coded into my DNA like CENTURIES back; I will always be big-boned and sturdy; and I think the women in my family who share my genetics are gorgeous - particularly my little sister, who is lovelier than she thinks. I like that there's a trend spreading that you can have curves and heft and span and that it's not contradictory with being lovely in something beyond the "you have such a pretty face" concept.
But - I -don't- like my current size. It's not healthy, first of all, and I feel like it's not who I want to be for the rest of my life. And while there are days that I can look in the mirror and think "damn, I'm cute," the truth is, I don't like the way I look at my present weight. I don't have a problem that I'm never going to look like Audrey Hepburn - but I don't want to be carrying as much excess baggage as I presently am, either. Does that make me a hypocrite? I don't properly know how to reconcile the two.
3) All that said: Very, very slowly, the shape of my body is changing. My calves and thighs have acquired enough definition that if I stand straight with my legs together and look in the mirror, I can see space between my legs just below where my knees are touching. The fact that I can see space AT ALL ANYWHERE is a huge change. My middle - around my rib cage - is reducing in size as well, so that I have a smoother vertical line to my body, and my upper arms are gaining some tone. Today I put on a pair of leggings bought awhile back and worn a few times, and they are... not loose, but not skin tight, at least not around my calves and thighs.
Progress, FTW. :D
Went running at lunchtime, and expected to be more tired than I actually was, given yesterday. (Not that I won't be happy to take tomorrow off, mind.) In fact, I managed to run 3.0 mi in 58 min, 30 sec, which puts me at just under 3.08 mph. I realize this is not tremendously exciting to anyone but me, but for me, that's progress!
The pattern for today:
1st 5 min: walk 2.8 mph 1 min, walk 3.0 mph 1 min, walk 3.1 mph 1 min, run 3.1 mph 2 min
2nd: walk 3.0 mph 2 min, run 3.0 1 min, walk 3.1 mph 1 min, run 3.1 mph 2 min
3rd: walk 3.0 mph 2 min, run 3.1 mph 3 min
4th-5th: walk 3.0 mph 2 min, walk 3.1 mph 1 min, run 3.1 mph 1 min, run 3.2 mph 1 min
5th-6th: walk 3.0 mph 2 min, walk 3.1 mph 30 sec, run 3.1 mph 1 min, run 3.2 mph 1 min 30 seec
6th-7th: walk 3.0 mph 2 min, walk 3.1 mph 30 sec, run 3.1 mph 30 sec, run 3.2 mph 2 min
8th-9th: walk 3.0 mph 2 min, run 3.2 mph 3 min
10th: walk 3.0 mph 2 min, walk 3.1 mph 1 min, run 3.1 mph 1 min, run 3.2 mph 1 min
11th: walk 3.0 mph 2 min, walk 3.1 mph 1 min, run 3.1 mph 2 min
remaining time: walk 3.0 mph 2 min, run 3.2 mph 1 min 30 sec
I don't want to trigger anyone with body issues, so please, if you think reading about body shape and changes in weight will ping issues you don't want touched, don't continue.
Some general observations:
1) Running has been a good choice so far, and it's part of what is making weight loss easier - because I'm not focusing on it as weight loss at all - in fact, if I think about eating in terms of how it helps running, I do fine. If I think about eating in terms of Weight Watchers and weight loss, I find myself walking a very fine line between doing well and the crazy, which I have no desire to repeat.
2) Life on the internet has exposed me to a community of women who are comfortable in their own skin, regardless of what size they are, and who like to look cute and don't think it's size-dependent. I think it's fantastic, and I -do- think you can look fabulous without regard to body size, because that should be about you, and your self-confidence, and your own sense of style. I'm never going to be a size 2: I come from a family of bakers and farmers and seriously, my hips are hard-coded into my DNA like CENTURIES back; I will always be big-boned and sturdy; and I think the women in my family who share my genetics are gorgeous - particularly my little sister, who is lovelier than she thinks. I like that there's a trend spreading that you can have curves and heft and span and that it's not contradictory with being lovely in something beyond the "you have such a pretty face" concept.
But - I -don't- like my current size. It's not healthy, first of all, and I feel like it's not who I want to be for the rest of my life. And while there are days that I can look in the mirror and think "damn, I'm cute," the truth is, I don't like the way I look at my present weight. I don't have a problem that I'm never going to look like Audrey Hepburn - but I don't want to be carrying as much excess baggage as I presently am, either. Does that make me a hypocrite? I don't properly know how to reconcile the two.
3) All that said: Very, very slowly, the shape of my body is changing. My calves and thighs have acquired enough definition that if I stand straight with my legs together and look in the mirror, I can see space between my legs just below where my knees are touching. The fact that I can see space AT ALL ANYWHERE is a huge change. My middle - around my rib cage - is reducing in size as well, so that I have a smoother vertical line to my body, and my upper arms are gaining some tone. Today I put on a pair of leggings bought awhile back and worn a few times, and they are... not loose, but not skin tight, at least not around my calves and thighs.
Progress, FTW. :D
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no subject
Date: 2007-07-14 01:30 am (UTC)Makes total sense - I'm with you on this one, completely. I just feel better - healthwise & in my clothes - when I'm a solid size smaller, about 20 pounds less than I currently am. And exercise (and at my age, sadly, eating less overall) is the best way to get there, because the muscle tone helps hugely with the feeling better/feeling more comfortable part of things.
So, good for you!
no subject
Date: 2007-07-17 03:12 am (UTC)Thank you SO much for the good thoughts. :D
no subject
Date: 2007-07-17 12:33 pm (UTC)Oh yes. It's like money - it's surprisingly easy to blow through a thousand dollars in $20 increments, and have roughly nothing to show for it. Losing weight is exactly the same only the results are good!
no subject
Date: 2007-07-14 06:35 am (UTC)Secondly, I TOTALLY get what you mean about having problems reconciling being comfortable with yourself with wanting to improve your state. I don't have much of a weight problem, and I feel terrible grumping about clothes being tight or feeling fat when there are people who are suffering medically and trying daily to lose weight and not succeeding. But I am occasionally dissatisfied with my body because I was a ballet dancer through my entire childhood and I played sports and did a million crunches at the Academy. I'm not used to my body feeling out of shape and unwieldly. And I think you can always strive for more comfort, for more ability, for more control over your body without quantifying beauty.
*hugs* I wish you luck and continued willpower and I hope that when you are here we will meet for walks and runs and animal love. :)
no subject
Date: 2007-07-17 03:10 am (UTC)I'm coming to the realization that it's a road I'm on for my whole life - and that that is OKAY, you know?
And I think focusing on it as control, rather than meeting an ideal, is a good mindset. Thanks. :D
Also, are we 5king it sometime in October?
no subject
Date: 2007-07-14 11:12 am (UTC)Did I read that you were coming back to the DC area? Let me know, so we can get together and hang out. :-)
no subject
Date: 2007-07-17 03:08 am (UTC)I AM - I just bought a house and am moving up your way in a little more than a month! I'd love to see you - drop a line at this journal name at yahoo, and I'll give you my new contact info so we can start making plans!
no subject
Date: 2007-07-16 02:13 pm (UTC)I don't have a problem that I'm never going to look like Audrey Hepburn - but I don't want to be carrying as much excess baggage as I presently am, either. Does that make me a hypocrite? I don't properly know how to reconcile the two.
I don't think that makes you a hypocrite at all. You don't want to be something you can't be, but you want to be the best you possible. I don't want to be Gisele, but I do want to be healthy and fit better into my clothes. It makes perfect sense to me. :)
no subject
Date: 2007-07-17 03:00 am (UTC)